One of my core truths about Torah and Judaism is that life is a partnership between me and G-d but that, in this relationship, I must make the first move. For example, in this holy season of teshuvah, G-d isn't going to do the "returning" for me, as much as I would like that. I must take the first step. But the converse isn't true (and this is something I've heard said 10 different ways but which I know in my inner core to be true) - that a little step forward only gains a little result. No, once this first step is taken - of effort, of return, of righteousness, of charity, of prayer - then the resulting response from H' will be magnified a thousandfold. Believe it or not, so much of it really does come down to that effort, that exercise of free will, that overcoming of every single obstacle, to take the first step. The rest is effortless. But that first step - that getting out of bed, that workout, that mitzvah, that act of kindness and perspective - there is an objectively spiritual reason why such obstacles are so great.
But, at the same time, an eternal truth must remain - a simple one, but also one that can immediately take you to a different spiritual level, which is that H', of course, created us. Me. You. And in this light, and in this relationship, as "createe" and Creator, there is not only a relationship but, according to this brand new parasha of Ha'Azinu, some sort of "debt" created as well. I may not have asked for this debt in being created, but here it is and it must be paid - and if not, then doing so is at our peril.
It is for this reason that Moshe nearly introduces this holy song by asking the rhetorical question - after, no less, excoriating the people for their unwise, vile ways - basically "is this how you re-pay G-d, your Creator?" Indeed, such rebelliousness is, in fact, how we re-pay G-d, and I believe that there is a Midrash about how G-d, apparently suffers greatly at every act of living out of alignment with H'. G-d feels the pain, man!
In this light, life becomes totally re-framed. Totally. It is no longer about what I want, my heart and soul desire (Torah explicitly warns us about "chasing after what the heart and eyes want") - no, in this relationship, whether this "I" likes it or not (and here, the Hasidic concept of the pre-bittul "I" now becomes immensely helpful), I am only here experiencing this sweet life (or what should be a sweet life if I only tuned in) because I was created by G-d, and need to do what H' wants (in order to literally live, as the holy prophet Amos said). I owe it to G-d to listen to the Voice.
This whole concept of bittul then becomes so much clearer - it is not only about self-nullification and ego death and surrendur/submission/recognizing the illusion of free will (and it very well may be all of those things) - it is simply recognizing and honoring the Creator, to whom I owe an immense debt, the greatest debt of all, but who at the same time only wants to be re-paid through my attention and closeness and devotion and alignment and honor to H'. Simple.
And by the way - "repayment" implies, to me, that full repayment and a permanent state of being debt-free is very possible and, as always, commanded. There cannot be any way that if it is like this on earth, then G-d would want to keep us in permanent debt as well. It is life's journey to get there.
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