There is a question that repeatedly arises in considering the tribulations of Bnei Yisrael as recorded in Shemot, VaYikra, and Bemidbar: This was a people that saw so many miracles. Plagues in Egypt. Splitting of the sea. Annihilation of the Egyptian army. Endless and delicious food. Tremendous wealth. Fresh water that followed them everywhere. A protective, constant cover. Their every need met - sometimes even when they didn't want it. And yet, with the slightest push, they completely lost their faith and all had to die. If they - who, most importantly, literally "met" G-d at the giving of the Torah - still failed in their test of faith, how can we possibly do even better when we, allegedly, don't see open miracles and the Essence of G-d as they did?
This is explicated by the Torah in an interesting way in Devarim 5:21, in which Moshe recounts that, during the giving of the Torah, the heads of the tribes and the elders came to him and said "Indeed! Shown us has H' our G-d, G-d's Glory and Greatness and Voice, and we have heard from the midst of the fire this day, we saw that H' will speak with a person and he can live. But now, why should we die when it shall consume us, this great fire? If we continue to hear the voice of H' our G-d any longer, we will die."
Huh? This wasn't days, hours, or even minutes in between a huge miracle and a tribulation. This was in one sentence to the next: We heard G-d's voice and even "saw" this and realized that we can live! But stop it because we're afraid if we keep going, we will die.
It truly has to do with external as opposed to internal factors. I can see the greatest of miracles - and, to bring the point home - every day I do see tremendous miracles, and yet without fully integrating and realizing them, they're just that - miracles that happen and are witnessed, for sure, but then are gone.
It might be said that someone with true faith never needs a miracle. I heard a beautiful thought just a few hours ago that someone with true faith is basically at ease their entire life. Sure, we absolutely need to put in the effort - but once that effort is input, it is all in the hands of H'. It is a struggle I have each and every day, and intensely at the moment, on many levels - what does it really mean to trust in G-d? What does it mean to know that every single second is a miracle, the health and safety of me and my entire family and the entire Jewish people is a miracle, an ongoing miracle, while at the same time - well, not feeling ease?
So, I actually ask for a blessing. May H' continue to bless me with not only the fulfillment of my own personal desires, goals, wants, and needs, but also to continue building my strength in faith and holy trust. And I end with an immense debt of gratitude, appreciation, and thanksgiving for all H' has done for me, for what I have contributed to the relationship, and my trust in the ongoing fruitfulness of the relationship.
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