There is a two-week break in the Torah readings as Pesach begins on Friday night and continues, in the diaspora, into the next shabbat. For reasons I will have to research more thoroughly, therefore, both readings in Israel and the diaspora are paused this week while in Israel they will resume the week after while we here in the diaspora will be a week behind.
I'm deciding, therefore, to write a little bit more about prayer. And study it. Admittedly, when I pray, I understand anywhere from 25-60% of what I'm saying in Hebrew. My goal by the end of this two weeks is to at least have some more Hebrew fluency and understanding in both the shema and the amidah.
Beginning with the shema, I've always had questions about the last few lines involving tzitzit, specifically that they prevent "exploring after your heart and your eyes" that which will cause "you to stray" (very roughly translated). I can almost understand needing to guard against the eyes as they take in the world's materialism (and I've heard that men are particularly swayed by visual inputs), and how that materialism is not really spiritual wealth. But why also after the heart? Doesn't this prayer literally begin with a pledge to serve H' "with all your heart"? If so, should I just not serve with that part of the heart?
This really isn't hinted to at all in the prayer, but I have been learning about the anatomy of mankind - that while man's corpus is made from the dust of the soul, man and woman also has a "soul [neshama]" breathed into them by G-d which makes that individual a "living soul [nefesh]." This is in addition to the nefesh given to all animals, of which mankind is certainly a part. In other words, under even a literal reading of the Torah, every human individual has both an animal nefesh (soul) and a G-d-given nefesh (soul) which also has . . . some elements . . . of being neshama. (We should feel free to discuss these terms at length and how they relate - nefesh soul and neshama breath/soul - but in reality we may not understand them fully until the redemptive era.
Therefore, when the shema talks about not following after your "heart," surely it is referring to that lower, baser animal "heart" - the one that follows up on what the eyes see only. And that when the beginning of the prayer refers to "all your heart," it is referring to both the "animal heart" and the "G-dly soul (heart)," with the latter directing the former and the former serving at the pleasure of the latter.
I'm extremely grateful to our physical objects - candidly, I do not wear tzitzit but I do don a tallit when I pray which does help serve as the same reminder - which on their own carry extensive spiritual power but also serve real-world value, in terms of "hey, when you look and wear these, they should serve as reminders to be making the right choice." There's no question that I move, think, and feel with more holy intention when I'm wearing such holy objects than without them.
So, use the "holy set of eyes" to follow the G-dly soul - by using those eyes to look at the tzitzit and letting them serve as a reminder - and don't use those crasser eyes to direct the heart into "straying." In many ways, elevating and tuning into that spiritual perspective is a tremendous part of why we were put here in the first place.
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