ometimes I find myself incredibly distraught, saddened, and heartbroken about what we have lost which our ancestors had - including, these days, the extensively described sin (bull) and fire (two rams) offerings described in Tetzaveh. How wonderful would it be for us to consecrate holy men (and women?) to take our sins, press them upon a sacrifice, and then utterly extinguish that sacrifice (and the sins it absorbed) through fire - and for that aroma to be pleasing to H'. A true, real, and objective transfer and annihilation of mistake. That happened each and every day, almost all day but at least three times, at the holy Beit HaMikdash.
What are we to do now? Yes, we have daily prayer regarding atonement, and we have Yom Kippur, of course, and we have personal, constant prayer - the prayer of the soul which knows, always, the errors and mistakes of the human body, heart, and mind and pushes us to atone, to return, to come back to the Holy Way.
Is this enough? Simply, seemingly, verbalizing our sins and asking for forgiveness? How do we know that forgiveness has been granted, teshuvah achieved - if we can't burn it up and create a pleasing aroma?
If I'm being candid, the closest and best answer I can give is that when we do teshuvah, we cannot and should not merely confess our sins - stating them, beating ourselves up, and moving on. We should hold the silence after the confession for a minute, a few seconds, a moment - and feel, even listen, that the atonement has been accepted. That the mistakes are burned up and washed away and that even their essence is turned into something holy and manifested in our thoughts and choices moving forward (the pleasing aroma, the dashing on the altar). That we are loving, worth of love, and beloved by both the Holy Blessed One and all of His creations.
We no longer have the service of the Beit HaMikdash. And maybe that's okay - for now, since back then, teshuvah, repentance, and atonement seemed to be solely placed upon the great shoulder of the kohanim and, especially, the kohen gadol. I could be wrong but I do not recall any specific instances of others doing teshuvah. So maybe it's okay because now the teshuvah has been taken from the exclusive realm of the kohanim and given, by necessity, to the rest of us.
But I do wonder - and will be heartbroken until that day - what it will look like when we have both the individual teshuvah and priestly teshuvah available to us. That combination surely will be the hallmark of the redemptive age.
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